The Fall and Rise of TARF Gnams

Here at Galoots_Loot we pride ourselves in working outside our normal routines and today is such a day. Today we have our Adventure Sports Specialist TARF Gnams sharing a day in the life.

“TARF here. You might be wondering what kind of name is TARF. I would too if i were you but I’m not so I’m not. Cha! Anyways, I’d tell you but you would totally be jealous. Cha! again. Anyways I forgot my real name so I made it up. It means Totally Awesome Radical Froth. There you have it. Secret’s out. Shh, don’t tell anyone. I’m on a journey for water. For froth. For the ultimate rush. The Bodhizaffa is my hero but not his illegal stuff. I just love to shred the gnar. I’m on an epic journey to find the ocean but I’m trapped in the desert. So when I need that adrenaline rush I ride.  It’s been a year since I’ve gone on a ride on my hard tail mountain bike. I like to climb but climbing doesn’t like me, especially after a year. 

So I’m out there on this 9.5% single track just zoning out. Sun in beating down on me. Sweat is dripping off my snout. A little Wicked Blue buzzes by. Then I see this gnarly Tang Tang flying right at me. I scream like that beaver is that video clip. And then I realized I’ve made it, I’ve reached the summit after a 3 mile climb. Now here’s where TARF kicks in. Shift up the gears and buckle down. If you’re behind me you’re getting a sweet glut shot. Take a picture it lasts longer. I barrel down this fire road, wind in my face and bugs in my teeth. It doesn’t get much better than that. Actually it does but I can’t talk about that here. Cha! I’m so hot, my legs are blown and I’m going to hurl. But I don’t. Instead I see a little Foofers hop on by. I smile. It’s good to be out. This next section is pretty fun, back to back ravine drops. I fly through them but on the last one I get spooked by a Tattler in a bush about 5 yards away. Keep your eyes peeled when you’re out there riding guys. 

I brought enough water for 18 miles of dirt and asphalt. I got to gaze upon a Lake. It isn’t like it used to be but it’s still nice from time to time. I make why back home with a clear head and a happy heart. It might not be my glorious ocean but there’s still a lot to see out there if you keep your eyes open. Besides everything I already mentioned I saw some Tures posted on a dead tree. And I saw a Hawk. 

TARF Gnams is done. I’m out. The G is silent but I’m not.”

Word Guide:

  • Wicked Blues = Wasps with Blue wings
  • Tang Tangs = Tarantula Wasps/Orange wings
  • Foofers = Cottontail
  • Tattlers = Rattlesnakes
  • Tures = Vultures
  • Hawk = Hawk

Published by: galoot247

I'm a working man with the "American Dream" list of responsibilities, limited time and money and I'm here to provide you my gut reaction first response to save you time and money. I'm a below average gamer that tries to make above average plays. I once lost 12 consecutive thumb wrestling matches to a 4 year old.

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